[ frankie says go fuck yourself ]

[winterlive]

i hate bandom.

phaballa made a post about how bandom guys being gay with each other onstage is as offensive as blackface, and a buncha people commented, i'm sure you've all seen it.

and now bandom's oppressed by fandom at large, and if being gay onstage is exploitative then so is slashfic, and the fundamental point of all RPS is seperating the person from the role so if you hate fallout boy's music but still fan them b/c they gay all over each other that's totally the same thing, and OH GOD MAKE IT STOP.

i just can't STAND it. and to be honest with you, it's not the music. i've heard maybe six songs by the aforementioned bands and one is sort of okay and the others, eh, whatever. and do i care that they french each other on stage? no. i could give a flying fuck. let 'em! but sweet god in heaven, their fans are going to drive me insane. maybe there are two or three people in bandom who are reasonable and like the music (pete wentz's mom?), and i'm sure those three people are about five seconds away from a homicidal rampage right now, because believe me, i know their pain.

after all, i am in supernatural fandom.


ETA: GIP.

Comments

[musical-emjay.livejournal.com]

The way you've worded my response in this post makes it seem as if I were pressing my opinion on you as some find of "fundamental" truth that you simply weren't getting, when in fact I stated that I did not share your sympathies, expressed my own, and then admitted that we were probably just going to have to disagree, that we had different view points that didn't mesh.

What makes me most uncomfortable, is how you chose to deal with my response. If you think my point of view is bugfuck CRAZY and you would rather that I take my opinions away from your journal because it's seriously messing with your cool, tell me. Actually respond to my comment. Please don't passive-agressively imply that I do so in a separate post.

As for refering to my fandom as a brain disease, that's just who I am and how I choose to express my love. I mock because I love, and I love enough that I can see the silly aspects of something, the mocking worthy aspects of it, and still hold it in the highest regard, even with all it's faults. That's like any fandom. I mean, we've all joked about how SPN is like the borg, there's no escaping it, just-you-wait-you'll-succumb-to-the-love etc etc. Bandom is the same for me. It was a huge outside force that I was trying to resist, because my god I need another fandom like a hole in the head, and then when I finally threw up my hands and said to my bandom friends, "OK, show me what I'm missing. Give me a reason to love this fandom", they did, I succumbed, and it took over my brain. Thus, "brain disease". So, again, I mock because I love. Most of the people I know in bandom share that same kind of sentiment, like "Oh my god, you boys are so fucking crazy, why on earth do I fangirl you, PLZ DON'T EVER STOP."

I don't think that's a bad thing. We're sane enough to realize that there are a lot of aspects of bandom that are pretty freaking hilarious, and express that sometimes, but still think they're fabulous enough to continue on our way in bliss. I just think you've got to have that kind of self awareness, so *shrug*

[winterlive.livejournal.com]

Please don't passive-agressively imply that I do so in a separate post.

this i don't get. you made a point in this post, i replied in this post, we're having a conversation in this post. i never said you should leave.

with regard to your statement about RPS, at its fundamentals, being just like loving a band even when you don't like their music, i don't agree with you. but you know that. you said let's agree to disagree, so i did, and left that alone.

i actually have no idea what you mean by you pressing your opinion, either - unless you are confusing "fundamentals" with "bible thumpers", which is not the way in which i'm using the word.

i won't say you're bugfuck crazy because you do seem to still be having a reasonable tone with me, but i will say that i don't think we're connecting, here.

however, with regard to the brain disease comment, i think you just might be less touchy on the overall than your average band fan. and if that's true, you are a huge, huge asset to that fandom, just so you know.

[musical-emjay.livejournal.com]

OK, well, I'm really tired but I'll try and lay this out as I see it as clearly as possible:

1) I made a comment here (http://winterlive.livejournal.com/388091.html?thread=10255099#t10255099), and did not receive a comment in return.

2) In this post you say: "the fundamental point of all RPS is seperating the person from the role so if you hate fallout boy's music but still fan them b/c they gay all over each other that's totally the same thing, and OH GOD MAKE IT STOP.", a statement which, at it's core, is what I said to you in the previous post. How else am I supposed to take that statement when it appears pretty clearly to me that you are talking to me except for how you aren't actually talking to me. To me, it seems pretty clear that you really, really need me to stop saying things like that in your journal, (which also seems to be a pretty clear invite to leave), but that you didn't feel it necessary to say that to my face.

3) I take fundamental to mean a hard and fast truth, something which is not disputed, so when you tack it on to something I said, it comes across to me as you saying that I was stating my opinion as a hard and fast truth, rather than opinion, thus pressing it upon you. That's what I mean.

4) I'm not sure if I want you to lump me in with the people you've decided are "reasonable" and therefore exempt from your hate. I'm a part of bandom. I am. If you say, "I hate bandom", then you're saying you hate me. Even if you then turn around and say "well, except for you guys", that doesn't make it any better.

[winterlive.livejournal.com]

2. i'm not talking directly to you. i'm talking to the people i have seen expressing this opinion, which are several. if i didn't want to disagree with that to your face, i would have put it behind a friends lock.

3. again, you didn't say that part. i have been in RPS fandom a long time and seen this viewpoint expressed before in relation to other fandoms, and in much stronger terms than you said it. i was paraphrasing.

4. i had that particular discussion with teaspoon above. extensively. your fandom loves to tell people that they hate it, even when they don't. sooner or later, y'all get convincing.

[musical-emjay.livejournal.com]

2. Well, all right then. I have a feeling we're just going to keep talking in circles, so I won't say anything more on this point.

4. That feeling of being hated on has to come from somewhere, and is does. Long before I actually got into bandom myself I saw the anti-bandom sentiment all over my flist. People whine about how bandom is taking over their own friendslists, they outright state they have shitty taste in music (which, by the way, you did (http://winterlive.livejournal.com/388091.html?thread=10252539#t10252539)), that the boys of bandom have absolutely no redeeming value and so people fangirling them are clearly deluding themselves into thinking that they're something worthy of loving. It's everywhere. We are not making this stuff up. Just because you stick a smiley face emoticon on the end of "you have horrible taste in music" does not make that any less of an insult. The fact that fandom at large seems to be laughing condescendingly behind their hands and wondering when those crazy bandom people are going to wake up and realize their stupidity is not cool, so of course we're going to rail against that.

[winterlive.livejournal.com]

at that moment, in that time and place, i felt comfortable poking a little fun at bandom because you had just finished doing the exact same thing. i assumed you weren't overly touchy about it. clearly i was mistaken, so my apologies for that. i'll treat the matter with utmost seriousness from now on.

because SOME people call you-plural down for liking these guys, you assume that EVERYBODY who dislikes bandom does it for the same reason. this is the exact same categorical prejudice that i am accused of having twice in this post, and neither of my accusers see the irony in that.

my advice to you is to suck it up. people tell you you're stupid for liking bandom, that your fandom is stupid, people condescend to you: defriend them. ban them, ignore them, forget about it otherwise.

and if you can't possibly stay quiet about it, just accept that you're taking people who don't give a flying fuck about bandom - who have members of bandom on their flists for months and months with no problem ever - and transforming them into people that can't hear the WORD "bandom" without their eyeballs twitching. because that right there is exactly what happened to me.

[musical-emjay.livejournal.com]

I'm not actually assuming anything. Based on what I have seen, what people have outright said is their reason behind hating bandom, or their heavily implied reason, those people are all coming from the same place. I'm not accusing you of anything except for the minor thing I linked to in my last comment, because before that I hadn't been aware of your distaste for bandom, a point which you have now made very clear. You haven't been condescending, or explicit in your hate, up until this point.

Now you're calling us out for having the nerve to be offended when people insult us. I'm sorry if I can't just instantly forget when someone seriously insults me. It just doesn't work that way. If you are sick and tired of hearing us say, "Wow, that's really insulting. I'm upset about that", then you have exactly the same options as you just gave me: defriend us, ban us, ignore us. If, as it appears, you chose not to do that, you do not get to fly off the handle and lump all the blame on us.

Yes, yes, YES, what we say has consequences. I am aware of that. Hey, maybe we shouldn't have the right to talk about what offends us and upsets us in our own journals because we might be annoying others. Maybe we should all just sit back, shut up, and drink the cups of haterade allotted to us by the people who are not in our fandom but have somehow decided that they are not offending us so WHY ARE WE SO UPSET???

Other people do not get to tell me what is or is not offensive to me. If I'm insulted, I will talk about it, so, as you said, suck it up.

[winterlive.livejournal.com]

y'know what? maybe you're right. maybe i shouldn't have the right to talk about what offends us and upsets me in my own journal because i might be annoying others. maybe i should all just sit back, shut up, and drink the cups of emo wailing and crying allotted to me by the people against whom i have never previously said a word, but have somehow decided that i am marginalizing and oppressing them anyway.