Ficlet

[winterlive]

romanyg did the coolest spangel meta post a little while ago. I suppose that's been kicking around in my head.

I disclaim, characters don't belong to me, unbeta'd.

.

Comfort

---

Spike is dancing.

Spin, twist, drop gracefully into a perfect form of muscle and flesh. Arms down, hands firm, and the satisfying crunch of bone as steel pipe drives into skull. Breathing in the motion, it's unnatural, but Spike does it – doesn't know why he does anything else these days, so why not?

The man across the alley cringes and whines, trying to cover his face. He can't run; his kneecaps are broken. Is he the child molester? The murderer? The embezzler? Hard to keep them straight, and it doesn't matter anyway. The body limp at his feet now, blood pooling on the alley floor and pipe sticking up, glinting in the light, Spike lights a cigarette and considers.

"Could let you live," he says to the man, a test and not an offer. The guy nods his head fervently, pleadingly, and Spike fills with compassion – and contempt. He really does forget who this guy is. He could be evil, or he could be a bum in the alley. Or a father of three Spike caught at an ATM. Impossible to tell. But he can't just walk away – that too is a choice. If he is a murderer, and he kills again, there is blood on Spike's hands.

Teardrops in the ocean.

"What am I?" he asks aloud, more to himself this time.

Of course, there is a stuttering reply. "I'm s-sure you're a g-good p-p-person, please... please don't kill me..." He stinks of fear, of piss and spoiled milk, and guilt.

Spike feels his lip lift in hate, squinting at this pathetic bastard crouched against a dumpster, pleading for his life. There was a time when he'd have killed him without thinking, a time when the shrill note in his voice would have been crime enough, punishable as all things are. But in the here and now, it's not so clear: poor guy might just want to get home to his family, get out of the alley with the psychopath. Perfectly reasonable, really. Torn, Spike stands and watches him, evaluating and smoking, as he shivers and cringes, his hands hovering near his head.

Spike feels the inertia of decision coming into his head, and drops his cigarette, crushing it beneath his heel. "Well," he begins, the big reveal on the guy's fate as terrified eyes widen...

But then there are hands around the guy's head, and a swift movement, the crunch again. Spike glares at the offender as the corpse slumps down, pulling a tiny metallic ring from the dumpster. "I was gonna do that," Spike says irritably, pointing.

Angel says nothing, arms crossed, glaring. You're too dramatic, Spike. Just get the job done. I don't believe I have to tell you this still, after years of education. You're such a disappointment, boy. He doesn't have to say a word. Spike can hear it all, anyway.

So easy to hate him. So easy to get under his skin. Spike smirks, lights up again, donning the persona like a long black coat. "Did the other one. Just havin' a little fun. You'd been a little faster, I wouldn't have had to do at all. You're slowin' down, old man."

"Spike..." Warning tone, so familiar. Recognizable. Certain.

Spike saunters out of the alley, ignoring Angel completely and knowing he will follow, and there will be a fight. Secretly, Spike is smiling.

Comments

[wolfshark]

Oh, I like this!

[winterlive.livejournal.com]

I like YOU. *smootches*

[wackinessensues.livejournal.com]

What a dark little scene. I'd love to see this developed into something more, it feels like the beginning of something truly dark.

Kudos!

[winterlive.livejournal.com]

I don't know if I'd meant it to be dark exactly, but it certainly was intended to be SERIOUS. I know it was kind of an oops that Spike didn't seem to change that much after the soul (y'know, once he wasn't crazy) but it always struck me as perfectly reasonable. I don't think it merged seamlessly with his psyche, I just think he doesn't feel compelled to make the big hairy deal of it that Angel does. So things are still simmering in there.

Uh... it was clear that this was post-soul, right? *smootches you*

[wackinessensues.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, that's what made it so dark to me. The fact that he has the soul and is still debating about whether he should care that his *victim* might not be entirely evil instead of just killing him.

I enjoyed it a lot.

[lynnenne]

Hee. That was tasty and fun.

[winterlive.livejournal.com]

Heh. *bows, kisses your hand*

[violethamster.livejournal.com]

Beautifully written, and a great exploration of Spike's inner conflict.

[winterlive.livejournal.com]

Can I just continue to say how much I love your icon? I love it. It's supoib. *kisses* Thanks much, bella.

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

Oh. Oh oh oh. I luff.

[winterlive.livejournal.com]

*glomps thoroughly* I love YOU, baby. I want kitty online! *pokes internets*

[anelith.livejournal.com]

"I'm s-sure you're a g-good p-p-person, please..."

Um, yeah... show of hands for anyone else who's still sure?

Some things are still constant, however -- Spike's relationship with Angel.

This is fascinating!

[winterlive.livejournal.com]

Thanks! That was, yes, the whole point. Yay! *hugs you*

[romanyg.livejournal.com]

I wanted to make sure that I got to this before I got to leaving on a jet plane.

The guy nods his head fervently, pleadingly, and Spike fills with compassion – and contempt. He really does forget who this guy is. He could be evil, or he could be a bum in the alley. Or a father of three Spike caught at an ATM. Impossible to tell. But he can't just walk away – that too is a choice.

I love the roiling conflict that he experiences here, how he's filled with opposite feelings and really how immediate they are. Also the feeling of difference, difference forced upon him that he has to live and choose through nonetheless.

And Angel, whose influence in Spike is so deep, doesn't need to say anything. Yet here, it's Angel that follows.

Good stuff.

[winterlive.livejournal.com]

In your post? It was the word "obligation" that stuck with me. Angel will follow Spike out of that alley, and maybe he'll be an overbearing prick and make Spike sit through a lecture, but he HAS to follow. And maybe Spike gets annoyed by said lecture and storms off. But he'll be back. Why? Because it's Angel, and Spike has no choice. They're... they're family, and I mean that in the guarding-Tara-from-her-father-and-brother sense. No matter how much they might hate each other or fight or snap or snarl, no matter how good or evil they get, in the end... there's just not an option.

And that's why I love them.

[romanyg.livejournal.com]

Yes, they are family. And no matter how much they'll never say it, doesn't make it any less real.

*loves them with you*