SIGH. You know, I understand what you're saying, totally. I wish I had the strength to walk away when something was upsetting/annoying/aggravating/nauseating me all the time. :-/ I tend to get het up by the littlest things - I'm sure, er. You already know that. *pink!*
In my ideal scenario, I would just step away - godddddd, Danny, there have been so many situations in the last 6-12 months where I've said things where I really should have just kept my mouth shut. At the same time though, I think ... it's better for us sometimes to stand up for the things that we believe so strongly about than to shut up and pretend they don't bother us. But maybe it's a matter of choosing your battles in a way that'll help you sleep at night. I think there's a difference between getting into a fight w/ someone because they did something you can't possibly be expected to take lying down, and getting into a fight because of something like ... for example, say Bob thinks blowjobs are the grossest thing ever, but Lloyd likes them - obviously, Bob and Lloyd shouldn't argue about blowjobs.
I think people do have a horrible habit of antagonizing this shit though. :-/ I guess people feel like they get backed into a corner and are being oppressed, so they make posts blaming EVERYONE ("I like X thing, and if you don't agree, you're just a horrible, oppressing TOOL, and why are you friends with me anyway if you don't like it?"*), and nobody knows who is ACTUALLY to blame, so they all feel responsible. Bah. Vague James is a vague, sorries. Point is, one little disagreement on one issue tends to turn into this HUGE, full blown spot of drama before you know it, there are hurt feelings everywhere, people talking behind other peoples backs everywhere, and WOE, before you know it, things EXPLODE. :(
*I've actually been defriended before for saying to someone I didn't like X thing, but I still liked them. It was very sad-making. :(
At the same time, EFF. We totally all need someone to vent to - if something grossed me out terribly, chances are I'm going to tell someone about it just to know I'm not alone. But like you said - nothing we say is private, and it's pretty important to make sure we have this discussions with people who WANT to have them with us, not just have them b/c we expect everyone to think exactly like we do.
In conclusion: DRAMA. Too much of it, and over stuff that probably could be prevented if we stopped fighting over stupid stuff that we shouldn't really be getting involved in. If I hated hetfic (HET IS GLORIOUS, FOR THE RECORD), I wouldn't hang out at spn_het, would I? Surrounding yourself with stuff you hate is never a good idea. I learned that kind of the hard way. :-/
askkkkflhghg.hl; I'm sorry my comments to you are always like 900 miles long and go on about nothing. In short, I am tucking your advice into my pocket, I promise. It is very helpful, and will most likely help me stay sane. :*
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2009-01-11 11:49 am (UTC)SIGH. You know, I understand what you're saying, totally. I wish I had the strength to walk away when something was upsetting/annoying/aggravating/nauseating me all the time. :-/ I tend to get het up by the littlest things - I'm sure, er. You already know that. *pink!*
In my ideal scenario, I would just step away - godddddd, Danny, there have been so many situations in the last 6-12 months where I've said things where I really should have just kept my mouth shut. At the same time though, I think ... it's better for us sometimes to stand up for the things that we believe so strongly about than to shut up and pretend they don't bother us. But maybe it's a matter of choosing your battles in a way that'll help you sleep at night. I think there's a difference between getting into a fight w/ someone because they did something you can't possibly be expected to take lying down, and getting into a fight because of something like ... for example, say Bob thinks blowjobs are the grossest thing ever, but Lloyd likes them - obviously, Bob and Lloyd shouldn't argue about blowjobs.
I think people do have a horrible habit of antagonizing this shit though. :-/ I guess people feel like they get backed into a corner and are being oppressed, so they make posts blaming EVERYONE ("I like X thing, and if you don't agree, you're just a horrible, oppressing TOOL, and why are you friends with me anyway if you don't like it?"*), and nobody knows who is ACTUALLY to blame, so they all feel responsible. Bah. Vague James is a vague, sorries. Point is, one little disagreement on one issue tends to turn into this HUGE, full blown spot of drama before you know it, there are hurt feelings everywhere, people talking behind other peoples backs everywhere, and WOE, before you know it, things EXPLODE. :(
*I've actually been defriended before for saying to someone I didn't like X thing, but I still liked them. It was very sad-making. :(
At the same time, EFF. We totally all need someone to vent to - if something grossed me out terribly, chances are I'm going to tell someone about it just to know I'm not alone. But like you said - nothing we say is private, and it's pretty important to make sure we have this discussions with people who WANT to have them with us, not just have them b/c we expect everyone to think exactly like we do.
In conclusion: DRAMA. Too much of it, and over stuff that probably could be prevented if we stopped fighting over stupid stuff that we shouldn't really be getting involved in. If I hated hetfic (HET IS GLORIOUS, FOR THE RECORD), I wouldn't hang out at
askkkkflhghg.hl; I'm sorry my comments to you are always like 900 miles long and go on about nothing. In short, I am tucking your advice into my pocket, I promise. It is very helpful, and will most likely help me stay sane. :*